the girl invader
by a fanfictioner
Summary: What if Zim invented a machine to turn people into their opposite genders? What if Gir breaks it and Zim turns in to a girl? (Gir wouldn't because he is a robot and I don't want him to) What if Dib thinks girl Zim is cute? :D I don't own invader zim
1. gir what have you done

{This is only my second story. So… don't hurt me. Lol. If you like this story check out _irken invader_. I think it's a lot better than this one so far.}

Zim had just finish a machine that would hopeful destroy the dib beast.

"Muhahahaha! My dib-destroyer is finish! The dib human won't know what hit him!" Zim announced loudly in his in the Frankenstein 'it's a live' pose. "Hit who?" Gir asked walking in with the dreaded waffles. Zim's eyes widened in fear seeing the 'waffles' "oh.. Hello Gir." Zim said trying to act busy. "Master I made WAFFLES! Just for yooooooooou master" Gir said going a little crazy. He ran over to Zim who in turn was trying to maneuver around Gir and the waffles; making Gir drop a few waffles on the floor. Finally Gir used his rockets to boost his jump and tackled Zim to the floor. While he tackled Zim, Zim's newly finish dib-destroyer's big red activation button was pressed by a large, who knows what filled, waffle. The both looked up from where they landed on the floor. Their eyes met a red glowing barreled dib-destroyer. They both screamed as they were blasted. Zim's a tariffed scream because he didn't actually know what the weapon would do; all he knew is that he was going to us it on dib. Gir on the other hand had a delightful laughter scream. When the smoke cleared and they were so surprise they weren't dead that neither noticed Zim was a very different alien. It wasn't a suddle change; no it happened all at once. Cramping, boobs, his close not fitting, growing slightly taller, a voice change, his hands cleaner and longer(because he doesn't have nails), his lips greener, his antennas smoother and they now curled at the end, and he just sparkled with feminine beauty. Yep, his dib-destroyer made him the almighty Zim a girl. And the waffle that hit the button so hard the dib-destroyer fell off of the table and shattered in to servile hundred peaces. Gir's eyes widened when he looked at Zim. Gir slowly got up and stepped away from Zim. "Master?" Gir asked causally. "Yeah Gir, who else would it be?" Zim said ask he stud up. (His voice a higher pitch, he kind of sounds like a preppy school girl now.) He gronded and clutched his stomach. 'Why was Zim having pain in his sqeedlysmoch' Zim thought to himself. Gir started to back away. "What's wrong Gir?" Zim asked Gir noticing him looking quite terrified. Gir ran off crying/screaming "master looks funny!" Zim looked worried and confused. He ran over to the closest mirror and looked at himself."ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh (pan out. You can see Gir hiding somewhere in the base) hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(pan out more. You see dib give a startled jump from his bed. Dib looks out his window and whispers "zim?") hhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhh (pan out even more. And you see the baobab tree from lion king. Rafiki the baboon looks up and says "I see. I see.") hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh(pan back in to see zim. He takes a few breaths) - huff huff huff- (then starts again)ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh(pan out EVEN MORE. And you see the whole world.) hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Zim shrieked like… well a girl. Now that he was all though screaming zim sighed and plopped on one of his chairs. Gir slowly poked his head though the door "are you ok master?" he asked quietly. "No Gir. I AM NOT **OK!** **LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!"**

if you want to know what zim looks like now a really nice deviantART person agreed to let me use their picture. the picture is by VirtualContagion it is NOT mine! here is a link art/A-ZaDR-Comic-Zim-as-a-girl-323543326


	2. thanks gir

{Super-uber thanks to people who have reviewed my story and found the jokes. You guys are awesome.}

Zim was fuming. First, his dib-destroyer changed him into a girl; second, he had the human girl craps, and all in the same day! It didn't help that his computer was teasing him about it. Every time he would go to ask computer to look up something the computer would say something like "yes mam" or "you can't tell me what to do woman" and laugh at him. In the end the computer was just a jerk!

Zim pov

After the incident I couldn't find Gir. Not that telling him I was going to rip out his core was helping the madder. So I went to my computer. "Computer ruin a scan on me to find out what is causing this horrible pain to my sqeedlie smooch." I told the computer. "What ev- what happened to you?" the computer asked. "Gir. Ok. Now Ruin My Scan!" I told the computer harshly. The computer just started laughing and tries to tell me "Yes he he mam Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" after 10 minutes I gave up. Stomping off I yelled at the computer "shut up!" but the computer just told me in between giggles "you can't tell me what to do WOMAN!" urgh! I stomped to the elevator and went to the main floor. As I stepped out of my trash can I heard a gasp I looked up to see my archenemy in my front room! "D-DIB-STINK! H-HOW DID YOU G-GET IN HERE!?" I yelled at him trying to cover my now different body from him. As he looked at me my face started to burn with embarrassment. I don't know why I was getting this way; I mean it's just dib. "Z-Zim?!" he questioned me. "Shut up I know what you're thinking! It's all Gir's fault." I said quickly. A smile creped to his face. I looked at him angrily "stop that!" I ordered. "Stop what?" he asked innocently, his smile growing larger. He started to inch to me. "Stop! Don't come any closer." I said quickly with my arms out. I started to panick as he kept coming closer. "No! Stop dib! What are doing! Get away from me!" I screamed flailing my arms as he walk up to me and wrapped me in a hug. "Eek! Stop! Help! Gir help me!" I screamed loudly. In the next second Gir was pocking his head around the corner. "Master what's going on?" he asked seeing dib hugging up on me and, me pushing his face and torso away. "Aww. It will me ok zimmy." Dib told me soothingly. He was using his larger body to push my hands down and hug me closer. I let out a shill scream at me hugging me. Gir seeing his master in distress went in to sir mode and jumped in to the situation. Gir slammed in to dib sending him tumbling to the floor torreds the door and me tumbling to the floor torreds the kitchen. Dib stood up. Gir rocket booster over to dib planning on sending him through the door. But dib was prepared and simply grabbed the robot but the head when he flew at him and though him out the opened window. "Gir!" I screamed my hands flying to my mouth. He was my protector. Now what am I going to do to stop dib. Dib walked to me grabbing my wrist and yanking me to him. I let out a small "eep!" as I slammed in to his chest. I look up at him with tariffed eyes.

Dib pov

I looked down at the now famine irken invader. She looked up at me. She was scared. What am I doing? I let the irkens wrist go. At the release she fell backwards and covered her face. Why is Zim acting this way? The old Zim would have killed me for that stunt I just did but, this Zim just seems scared of me. I turn away. "I'm sorry." I whispered as I left.

Zim pov

Dib left just like that. Though he did leave the door opened so I saw as he walked out of the fence Gir jump from the bushes and tackle him to the ground. There was a lot of hollering and name calling. He got up some time later his close and hair a mess. His left side of his glasses where cracked a little bit. A few minutes after that Gir walked in and shut the door behind him. Seeing me still on the floor with my knees press firmly agenced my chest; Gir walked over to me and sat next to me. He then started to rub my back soothingly. That was when I lost it. I started to sob uncontrollably. I grabbed Gir and squeezed him in between my legs and my chest and I hugged him like a stuffed bear. He contuied to rub my back and tell me "its ok master. Don't cry." I finally stopped crying an hour later. Gir was soaked with my tears. "Thank you Gir." I told him while picking him up and we both took a bath. Because of Gir we had five rubber pigs and bubbles to.


	3. the decision

Zim pov

I the almighty Zim didn't know what to do. Well like the humans say there is a first for everything. This morning I woke up to Gir screaming "master are you going to skooooooool?!" I sat up in my bed almost giving myself whiplash. Skool I hadn't even thought about that! Last night all I thought about was that scary moment with Zim. The almighty Zim never fears a stinking human and defiantly not the dib stink. So why was I scared stiff? I started thinking about dib again and total forgot what Gir had asked me until Gir jumped on to my stomach, grabbed my face until we were face to face. "Master is you ok?" the small robot asked me. I sighed "yes Gir. I'm fine. But I don't think I'm going to go to skool to day." I told him. Gir's intina drooped. "Did big head Mary upset you?" he asked simpatect. I looked down. "Kind of." I whispered sadly. "It's ok master." He pated my back comforting me. "I d-don't know w-what to do." I whispered. "I KNOW I WILLS MAKE YOU WALFFLES!" Gir ran out of my room to fast for me to stop and tell him I didn't want any. "Well I guess I need to get up before he adds inedible things to the batter." I sighed and crawled out of bed. I slipped on only pants because the rest of my invader outfit was too small for me now. I slowly walked to the kitchen. I stopped at the door and let out a small chuckle at the sight. Gir had on a pink apron and was on the table dancing while string the batter. The kitchen had batter splats everywhere as if it got in a fight with the Pillsbury dough boy. At the sound of my laugh Gir look at me and smiled. "Master I is making yours waffles!" Gir said loudly, shaking his butt at me. "Gir, what did you put in the waffle batter?" I asked him slowly so he would understand the question. He stopped dancing and just smiled wildly. "I put waffles in it!" he screamed happily at me. I just shook my head and sat down at the table. Gir hoped off the table and started pouring the batter in to the waffle maker. Gir started humming_ put the lime in the coconut_. As he started stacking the waffles he began singing a… different version of_ put the line in the coconut_. It went like this.

"Mary bought a taco  
He bought it for a pig.  
Gazzy had another  
she paid it for the monkey!

Master put the monkey in the taco  
and he beat them both up.

Master put the monkey in the taco  
master called the tallest, woke them both up, and said  
"tallest, ain't there nothing I can do"  
master said, "tallest, to destroy the dib-stink?"  
Master said, "Tallest ain't there nothing I can do"  
master said, "tallest, to destroy the dib-stink?"

Now let me get this straight;  
You put the monkey in the taco  
You beat them both up  
You put the monkey in the taco,  
You beat them both up  
put the monkey in the taco,  
you beat them both up  
put the monkey in the taco,  
called your tallest, woke them both up, and said,

"tallest, ain't there nothing I can do"  
master said, "tallest, to destroy the dib-stink?"  
master said, tallest, ain't there nothing I can do"  
master said, tallest, to destroy the dib-stink?"

You put the monkey in the taco, you beat them both together,  
put the monkey in the taco, and then you'll feel better.  
Put the monkey in the taco, and beat them both up,  
Put the monkey in the taco, and call me in the morning."

Mary bought a taco  
He bought it for a pig.  
Gazzy had another  
she paid it for the monkey.

Master put the monkey in the taco  
and he beat them both up.  
Master put the monkey in the-"

that was when I had it. I couldn't take the waffles that Gir had been serving me though out the song and I couldn't take his never ending song! Grabbing my head I grawled "Gir please stop singing. And I'm sick of waffles." Gir eyes started to water. "Gir don't cry. Please don't." I pleaded. Never the less Gir dropped his 7 stacked plat and ran out of the kitchen crying. "Gir please come back!" I yelled in the direction he ran. I sighed and sat back down at the waffle covered table. I then proceeded in banging my head on the edge of the table. Thump thump thump. "Why are you beating yourself up, Zim?" that voice. I stopped hitting my head and look in the direction of the voice. I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. "You know very well that's my job." Dib said with a chuckle from my door way.

{totally forgot zim's not wearing a shirt, and he is a girl now. So very awkward.}


	4. Mean Mary and His Idiotic Human Brain

{yeah the title doesn't really fit but, oh well. Also sorry for taking so long with the chapter. Forgive me naked Zim lovers? Lol }

My eyes widened. I looked down at my half naked body, then up at dib. I franticly looked for something to cover up. All I saw was my plate of half eaten waffles. I grabbed it and smashed the waffles to my chest.

"Dib! What are you doing in my base!" dib noticing that I was half naked just stared at me wide eyed.

"I... um... didn't... um… a… sorry." He stuttered with a large blush rapidly spreading across his face. He quickly turned to leave. I was breathing heavily by now. In all the commotion we didn't notice Gir come back.

"MEAN MARY! YOU MAKE MASTER SAD!" Gir screamed at dib who was now completely startled.

"What?! I... um... hum... agh." Dib stuttered as Gir in duty mode closed in on him.

"G-Gir… Don't…." I said shyly. Gir turned to me with those blue cyan eyes. He just tilted his head and asked

"Wwhy?" I bit my lower lip and reluctantly said

"because the dib-stink didn't mean to walk in on me like this. It was just an accident." With a small chuckle I added

"I can tell by the look on his face. He was like 'oh my idiotic human brain! Zim is so much better looking than I am or any other stupid human!' hahaha" I mocked him in the last part. Dib still a little shocked by the comment I just made and probably seeing too much of my new body, but he pull it together enough to add in

"yeah, it was just an accident. I swear!" Gir looked at me still covered in waffles and then at dib who offered a small, I'm not guilty smile.

"Ohhhhh!" Gir said loudly.

"So you're not going to beat me up?" dib asked quietly so Gir wouldn't get angry again. Gir just screamed

"tacos!" and jumped into the trashcan elevator, leaving them in silence.

"Haha well that was weird." Dib said while rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I just glared at him.

"Heh. soooo. We are still good, right?" dib asked a little worried.

"Oh we're good alright." I said sarcastically and walk over to my randomly put side table in the front room

(you know which one I'm talking about.) I pressed a button on it and it opened in to a tube like thing.

Next thing dib knew I had pulled a (too large for the tube) laser gun (we don't want to kill dib…. Just hurt him badly) and bam.

Dib was knocked on to the side walk outside of my small fence. However there was now a large dib shaped hole through the door now. I laughed extremely loud as I watched the smoking dib beast get off the side walk slowly and painfully away.

Ha! Yes, today is going to be a good day.


	5. mix up

**Sorry this intro is so long but please read this so you don't get confused on what's happening.**

**So first off I got a message from pichu123456 saying that irken girls don't have boobs! Well I explained to pichu123456 my logic in that Zim being an irken girl and having boobs, unlike tak. Well here is the backstory that I was going to add somewhere.  
Zim's dib-destroyer was… well made for dib even though he didn't know what it would do. He mixed some human DNA (collected from random specimen graciously donated from the skool) in the machine. So that It would defiantly work on him. In the incident that Zim and Gir got shot (chapter 1). The humans DNA mix with his... Hence the boobs. Human boobs, human cramps, human, human, human. Darn them humans DNA right? Gir wasn't affected because he's a robot and human DNA can't mix with electronics. Well at least not in my story.  
So there you go, that is why Zim has boobs. A special thanks to pichu123456**

** I'm going to do something different today. Do not worry I will go back to my normal zadr, the girl invader right after this. However if I get reviews saying you like it; I will try to start a new story and continue both. J **

**So new story time! New story time! New story time!**

Pov by a random tuff girl I just made up. Her name is Liza. Stress on the lie easy on the za. (ITIF aka I Think I'm Funny)

It was my first day at this new skool. I didn't know what to expect. I walk through the halls like a boss. I found my locker and got my books. Slowly I found my class room. However the bell had just rung and the teacher was already talking.

"Crap. My first day and I'm already going to get in trouble." I thought to myself. I forced myself to knock on the door. I slowly opened to a demon looking teacher. (Aka Ms. Bitters)

"What do you want?" she hissed at me. Her venomous voice made the hairs on my neck stand up.

"I-I-I'm the new student. Liza." I shyly told her.

"Hmmm. You're late! But since you are new I will let you off easy. But only THIS ONCE." She told me harshly while motioning me into the class room. The room that was once bustling with conversation went quite as me and Ms. Bitters came in to the room.

"Class, I would like to introduce the newest, hopeless appendage to the student body. Her name is... Liza. Liza, if you have something to say, say it now, because after this moment, I don't want to hear another sound from you!" she looked to me waiting for a response.

"No, I don't have anything to add." I told her calmly.

"Then sit." She told me pointing to a desk in-between a green skinned boy (aka Zim) and a boy with a large cowlick (aka dib ITIF). I made my way to my new desk. Everyone was staring at me. Well almost everyone. The two boys I was sitting in-between were looking harshly at each other; as if me being here was one of their evilest schemes. Well I think Ms. Bitters continued the lesson because this is what I heard next.

"As I was saying, the universe is just doomed. Doom, doom, doooooom!" and she just continued saying doom. I was starting to get bored so I grabbed out a note book. As I was zipping up my backpack I was hit in the head with a balled up piece of paper. I grabbed it and quietly unfolded it inside of my note book. It read.

"Hey new kid. You're sitting in between two crazy freaks. They have like no friends. It's so inhuman. Good luck. - Jessica"

I read the note four times looking to the two boys beside me. They did look weird. The green skinned boy to my right was wearing a pink dress, he kind of reminded me of Christmas. The cowlick boy to my left was wearing a large black trench coat. Yeah they looked weird but really Jessica crazy freaks. No they didn't look that weird but just to be safe I will look in to them. They might just be my kind of crazy.

Ding dong

"Class is over now leave all of you worthless children. Leave!" miss biters hissed while disappearing in to a wall.

"Well that wasn't normal." I told myself grabbing up my backpack and other things. I walked to my locker. It was locker number…. Ah locker number 37. I started to open my locker when I got a shove to my shoulder.

"what the-" I looked to my right to find the green kid shoving me out of his way so he could get in to his locker which happened to be beside me.

"Get out of Zim way smelly earth poop." He grumbled to me shoving me hard. I stumble out of his way but, into someone else. I almost fell to the floor if the kid didn't catch me. I turned around to see the kid with the cowlick.

"Sorry" I mumble, I steadied myself and headed back to my locker.

"It's ok. It wasn't YOUR FALT…. ZIM!" dib loudly excused Zim. Dib walked to his locker which happened to be on the other side of me. Zim slammed his locker shut and pushed me out from between them.

"Shut you dirty nose tub! Diiiiiiiiib!" Zim hissed at dib angrily. Zim would have walked away right then if he didn't walk right in to a freakishly large bully.

"Hey watch were you're going freak!" the bully growled and shoved Zim in to his closed locker.

"No one calls this mighty irken worrier a freak! DRITY WORM BABY!" Zim yelled to the bully loud enough for everyone in the hallway to turn to him but, the bully turned last.

"You are sooo getting beat up for that." Dib whispered to Zim.

"What did you call me freak?" the bull asked stomping over to the two boys. Zim and dib both looked tariffed. The bully prodded both of them asking again.

"I said what did you call me?" dib let out a small whimper of pure terrier. Dib meant to say that Zim said he was a dirty worm baby and he didn't do anything but only a whimper came out.

"He called you a dirty worm baby and I would have to agree with him. You are a DIRTY WORM BABY." a voice from behind the bull said. Everyone looked to see who was brave or stupid enough to say those things about a bully of that size. They all saw the new kid Liza with her hands on her hips ready to tell the bully off.

"You heard me." I said bobbing my head. The bully just looked confused

"Your taking up for these losers?" the bully asked me pointing to Zim and dib. Zim and dib both let out a hurtful "hey" but they instantly went silent when the bully turned to face them.

"I only see one loser and he's standing in front of me; being a big bully" I said pointing at the bully. The bully cracked his knuckles.

"I don't normally beat up girls but I guess I can make an exception" the bully said walking up to me.

"I normally beat up bullies. So I guess I won't make an exception." I told him cracking my knuckles in return. Instantly there was a crowd circling around us all yelling "fight! Fight! Fight!"

The bully lunged at me with a right upper hook but I easily ducked left. When he fallowed though with the missed blow I took advanced on him and gave him a quick gab to his left ribs. He gave a grunt and I gave him a good knee to the nose. Then a foot to the groin, from there I just lightly pushed him to the floor.

"So… anyone else want to pick on my friends?" (Motioning to dib and Zim)I asked to group of kids that had circled around me and the bully. They were silent, some shook their heads no.

"Well? What are you all waiting for? Leave!" I told the kids still hanging around in the hall. All of them scrambled away. I turned to a wide eyed dib and a slightly even though he would never admit it scared Zim. I gave them a sweet smile.

"So…. you guys want to get some lunch?" I asked nervously. Zim narrowed his eyes in wonder. Both boys spoke at the same time.

"You. Human. Wishes to be nice to the great Zim?!" Zim asked me drawing out the ice in nice.

"you. Want to hang out with me?" dib asked confused. I looked at them both and laughed.

"Yes! Now come on." I happily grabbed both of them by their arms and walked with them to the cafeteria.

**Leave a comment or pm me if you want this story to continue! I hope you like it. **


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